- Officer Tom Hanson: The man stuck a gun inside my ear!
- Captain Adam Fuller: Would you relax, Hanson? He didn't pull the trigger!
- Officer Tom Hanson: Oh yeah, there's always a bright side, huh?
- [first lines]
- Hoagy Deleplant: Working late tonight Mr. LaForse?
- Marty LaForse: Oh? Yes, I'm falling behind on my grading.
- Julie Bradley: [on Doug's answering machine] I'll never forget you for the rest of my life for this. I hope you and Hannah are having fun. Bye.