3rd Rock from the Sun (TV Series)
Truth or Dick (1996)
John Lithgow: Dr. Dick Solomon
Quotes
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Tommy Solomon : [having a bad day as an adolescent] As the oldest member of this crew, I feel it's my duty to inform you all that this planet both wipes and sucks! In that order.
Dr. Dick Solomon : What is your problem?
Tommy Solomon : Something's wrong. My transfer's not holding. I'm growin' hair and my armpits smell and there's a constant circus in my pants.
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Dr. Dick Solomon : [Dick can't ignore the enormous mole on Dr Byron's forehead] You know, you really should have that thing removed. It's all I can look at.
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Dr. Dick Solomon : The truth is, you're delightful. I love looking at you. I don't know what it is about tonight. Maybe it's the wine, maybe it's the way the light hits your eyes. But you look puffy. You should go home and sleep.
[pause]
Dr. Dick Solomon : Is that better?
Dr. Mary Albright : Sadly, yes.
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Nina Campbell : I knew you had a thing for her!
Dr. Dick Solomon : Yes, but I understand I'm not allowed to show it to her without her permission.
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Dr. Mary Albright : [outraged at Dick's behavior when he substituted for her at a faculty meeting] All you had to do was show up and feign interest.
Dr. Dick Solomon : Feign? I will not be a party to feigning. I always tell the complete truth.
Dr. Mary Albright : Truth? Then I will be *brutally* frank.
Dr. Dick Solomon : Good. I'll be Genuine Dick.
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Campus Cop : Is there a problem?
Dr. Dick Solomon : Yes, there's a star missing
[Solomons all point towards the sky]
Dr. Dick Solomon : We think we know who did it.
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Dr. Dick Solomon : You see, lying accomplishes NOTHING! Somebody tricks you into substituting, you make a fool of yourself and your sister can't get a driver's license!
Pitman : Dr. Solomon, is this going to be on the final?
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Dr. Dick Solomon : As Einstein once said,
[starts speaking German]
Dr. Dick Solomon : . Any thoughts on that?
[Puzzled silence from the class]
Caryn : Dr. Solomon, I think you were speaking German.
Dr. Dick Solomon : Yes, German. Einstein spoke German.
[Looks around in disdain]
Dr. Dick Solomon : Oh, fine, I'll simplify!