- [last lines]
- Himself - Host: [Hitchcock is still standing inside the cage] So much for the case of the stolen stole. I think I'll give up my diet.
- [he walks past the bars and outside the cage which actually has no sides]
- Himself - Host: Exercise, that's it. I think I'll take up sports again.
- [leans casually on the bars of the cage from the outside]
- Himself - Host: I'm quite an athlete, you know. I particularly excel in chess, falconry, wife-beating, that sort of thing. Thank you for coming. Please call again. Our next visiting hours will be just one week from tonight. Good night.
- [first lines]
- [opens with Hitchcock cutting the bars of the cage he is standing in with a tiny saw]
- Himself - Host: "Stone walls do not a prison make, Nor iron bars a cage." But they help. They help.
- [camera pulls out to reveal Hitchcock in a zoo-like cage with a sign, 'Do Not Feed', hanging outside it]
- Himself - Host: Actually, this is my doctor's idea. When he says strict diet, he means strict diet.
- [points briefly to the sign]
- Himself - Host: The saw came in the traditional way, inside a cake. Have you ever had a piece of calorieless cake? I should have eaten the saw and used the cake to bludgeon my way out. However, I do not want to concern you with my petty problems, but with those of Paula Hudson. Paula was one of those persons who had never spent a day in jail or even being given a parking ticket. Then one day she found herself at the wrong end of the finger of suspicion. You will see Paula's story in a moment. It is called "Mink" from the fur of the same name.
- Furrier Assistant: Ooh, she doesn't look like the kind of a lady that would steal.
- Leslie Ronalds: Hmph, how can you tell these days? The ladies look like the other kind, and the other kind look like ladies.