Alfred Hitchcock Presents (TV Series)

None Are So Blind (1956)

Alfred Hitchcock: Self - Host

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : [Hitchcock is sitting in front of a large vanity mirror with lights and has a toupee on his head. He turns to the camera]  Good evening. The entertainment industry is always crying for new faces.

  [takes off toupee] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : I've decided to give them one. Not that there's anything wrong with the old one. In fact, I think it's rather good.

  [preens in the mirror, which cracks] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : [turns wryly to the camera]  Well, it could have been worse. What if I had cracked?

  [searching through wigs] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : See, here's the one.

  [putting on a wig and glasses] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : I've always wanted to be someone else.

  [looks at himself] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : That won't do. I look like a near-sighted hearth rug.

  [takes off wig and glasses] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : By an odd coincidence, we have a story about a man who decided to be someone other than himself. And by an equally odd coincidence, it is rehearsed and ready to start. Here it is.

• [last lines] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : [Hitchcock is standing in front of the vanity mirror and turns. He is wearing a hat and foppish mustache]  Poor Seymour. It couldn't have happened to a more deserving person.

  [removes the hat and mustache] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : Um, I've decided not to be someone else after all. If I won't be myself, who will? However, allow me to indulge my exhibitionist tendencies with this quick-change demonstration. The Alfred Hitchcock of today.

  [turns away from the camera, busies himself, then turns back unchanged] 

  Alfred Hitchcock : The Alfred Hitchcock of thirty years ago. The secret of this transformation is rather simple. I just removed my wallet. And now, I shall remove myself. But soon I shall return with another story. Good night.