[introduction - Hitchcock stands in front of a dusty screen]
Self - Host: Good evening, ladies and - Please don't adjust your sets. I think the picture tube needs... little dusting.
[Hitchcock wipes the dust off the screen when a gong rings and another Hitchcock appears]
Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: What is your wish, o master?
Self - Host: Who are you?
Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: I am Alfred, the genie of the lamp.
Self - Host: Why, my name's Alfred, too!
Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: Why is it, master, that when you can have any wish you desire, you prefer small talk?
Self - Host: Any wish I desire?
Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: If you want me, rub the lamp.
[Hitchcock rubs the screen again and, at the sound of the gong, Genie Alfred reappears]
Self - Host: How long have you been in that tube?
Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: Master, you have a mania for the unimportant. I have been there for years. No one ever dusts and whoever heard of a genie conjured up by a vacuum cleaner? And now, master, the wish. And remember the words of Allah: "Think big."
Self - Host: But what I want is priceless.
Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: Nothing is too great. Diamonds. Rubies.
Self - Host: This will be too much to ask.
Alfred, Genie of the Lamp: Master! The wish! The wish!
[Hitchcock rubs the screen again]
Self - Host: Give me a commercial! Give me a commercial!