[first lines]
Himself - Host: [Standing in front of a full-length mirror with a chair to the side, Hitchcock is tying up his dressing gown; he notices the audience in the mirror and turns to them] Good evening. I hope you'll excuse me for not being ready at show time, but my watch is slow.
[Looks at wrist - but there is no watch on it]
Himself - Host: As a matter of fact, it hasn't even gotten here yet. First I would like to announce a change in our program. Shakespeare's Hamlet will not be presented tonight. We don't feel it's suitable to show in the home - all those corpses, you know. Instead we are offering a story entitled, "The Hands of Mr. Ottermole". Most of our stories have taken place in the United States, or one of the other colonies, but tonight we offer a new locale. "The Hands of Mr. Ottermole" is laid in a far-off land of mystery and enchantment - England. And now suppose you continue squinting at this little screen while I slip into something more uncomfortable.
[inclines his head slightly and walks off]