All in the Family (TV Series)

Mike Faces Life (1975)

Rob Reiner: Michael 'Meathead' Stivic

Photos 

Quotes 

• Archie Bunker : That ain't the American Way, buddy. No, siree. Listen here, professor. You're the one who need an American History lesson. You don't know nothin' about Lady Liberty standin' there in the harbor, with her torch on high screamin' out to all the nations in the world: "Send me your poor, your deadbeats, your filthy." And all the nations send 'em in here, they come swarming in like ants. Your Spanish P.R.'s from the Caribboin, your Japs, your Chinamen, your Krauts and your Hebes and your English fags. All of 'em come in here and they're all free to live in their own separate sections where they feel safe. And they'll bust your head if you go in there. *That's* what makes America great, buddy.

  [exits Stivic house] 

  Mike Stivic : [to Gloria]  I think we just heard Archie Bunker's Bicentennial Minute.

• Gloria Bunker-Stivic : Mr. Crenshaw, we're talking about sex discrimination.

  Mike Stivic : That's right! You fired my wife because she is pregnant! Now why won't you admit that?

  Gordon Crenshaw : The door, Mr. Stivic! The door!

  Mike Stivic : Oh yes. Of course, Mr. Crenshaw, the door!

  [Placing a chair under the doorknob] 

  Gordon Crenshaw : Ah, Mr. Stivic, you are being irrational.

  Mike Stivic : I am being irrational! I'm being very irrational! That is the way I get when I am not being told the truth! My eyes bug out! My fists start to clench and I just feel like hitting something! Melons! Crenshaw melons!

  Gordon Crenshaw : Mr. Stivic, I am going to call security.

  Mike Stivic : You better call your company nurse, who I'm sure is a token Eskimo!