- Howard Sprague: Now with Goober being a mechanic and all, you'd assume he'd be a careful driver. But people say when he takes a girl out, he drives with one hand. I happen to know that's not true. He uses both hands, and drives with his feet.
- Howard Sprague: In Mayberry, there are three main forms of communication: telephone, telegraph, and tell Floyd.
- Howard Sprague: A customer came into the shop one day and said, "Floyd, you ought to take up violin lessons." Floyd asked him why. He said, "It would give your chin a rest."
- Goober Pyle: A customer said to me, "Goober, for a mechanic, you've got the cleanest hands I've ever seen." And I said, "Well they ought to be clean, I just wiped 'em on your seat covers."