- Andy Richter: [narrating] Byron and I were working on our latest project. it was a manual for the new Pickering non-valve-based high-pressure management system. Basically it's a hose, but don't tell the Navy.
- Keith Richards: [Keith enters the office] Guys, there's a problem with our new manual. The Navy found our high-pressure management system at a garden supply store in hundred foot rolls.
- Byron Togler: That's Tracy, the minister's daughter. She's super nice.
- Andy Richter: Now I see why you've joined this religion. It's the same reason I campaigned for Dukakis.
- Byron Togler: Andy, you are cynical. I believe in Zumanism. Tracy is just coming over to help me study for my Zuminian. That's, that's the rite of passage where i will officially become a man.
- Keith Richards: Maybe you can become a man with Tracy. Or at least become a very sweaty boy.
- Byron Togler: I am so into her. But, unfortunately, it is against my religion to have sex for 3 months before my Zuminian.
- Andy Richter: Well, can't you get credit for the other 29 sexless years of your life?
- Byron Togler: [sarcastically] Ha, ha, ha.
- [seriously]
- Byron Togler: No. I asked.
- Jessica Green: Have you ever gone out with somebody you weren't attracted to?
- Keith Richards: [playing a racing game of his computer at work] Oh, pumpkin, I'm sorry. You're beautiful. Anyone who doesn't see that is an idiot.
- Jessica Green: Keith, I'm not the unattractive one in this scenario.
- Keith Richards: That's the spirit.
- Byron Togler: [thoroughly depressed] Do they sell meaning in a burger shop?
- Keith Richards: No, but sometimes there's a maze on the placemat.
- Jessica Green: I can't go out with Nick anymore. I tried, I really tried, I closed my eyes, I listened to him sing, I even tried to imagine that he was a Furby. Because I love Furbys! But he's not a Furby.
- Wendy McKay: No, he's not. Although, once, due to a huge misunderstanding, he was forced to spend the night in the San Diego Zoo.