Andy Richter Controls the Universe (TV Series)
The Maid Man (2003)
Andy Richter: Andy Richter
Quotes
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Andy : We were both interested in what things could do if they were other things.
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Jessica Green : Do not ask her out.
Andy Richter : Why not?
Jessica Green : Because you're gonna go out a few times, then you'll break up. She'll feel hurt, you'll feel guilty and I'll feel dirty because no one will be cleaning my apartment.
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Andy Richter : But I'm in love!
Andy Richter : No you're not.
Andy Richter : Why do you always disagree with me? If I said I'm not in love would you say 'yes, you are'?
Jessica Green : I don't know, let's try it.
Andy Richter : I'm not in love.
Jessica Green : I know. So leave her alone.
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Andy Richter : I can't believe you fired Irina.
Jessica Green : She was having sex on my couch!
Andy Richter : We didn't plan to have sex on your couch, it just happened.
Byron Togler : Was it a leather couch? Because those things are basically asking for it.
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Mr. Pickering : Good for you, my boy! Having your way with the help. They're bending over anyway, huh?
[chuckles wickedly]
Andy Richter : How did you stay out of prison when you were alive?
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Andy Richter : I should've listened to you. What is my problem anyway?
Jessica Green : You just jump in a little too quickly sometimes.
Andy Richter : Yeah, why is that? I mean I do everything slowly: learning... working... returning videos...
[long pause]
Andy Richter : ... fleshing out analogies.