Angel (TV Series)

Fredless (2001)

Andy Hallett: Lorne

Quotes 

• Fred : Oh, no. Was there another massacre?

  Lorne : Oh, no, no. Just the one. But it turns out massacres are a lot like sitting through "Godfather Three". Once is enough.

• Angel : Look, Lorne, I'm sorry about the bar, but right now Fred is missing, and we need your help.

  Lorne : Oh, really? Yeah, well, I am not some mystical vending machine, here to spit out answers every time you waltz in with a problem. I have a heart. Granted, it's located in my left butt cheek, but it's still a heart, and that heart is broken. I mean, why is it nobody ever cares about my destiny? Everyone who walks through that door is all about "me, me, me" - well what about my me? My me's important!

  Angel : You know where she is, don't you?

  Lorne : And another thing: How... How do they get the pimiento's in the olives huh? There's a mystery for you. Yeah. Do they stuff each one by hand? 'Cause that seems a little time-consuming. Or, do you think they have a little pimieno-stuffing machine?

• Lorne : Well, isn't this a lovely surprise.

  Cordelia : He's surprised. I didn't think he owned terry cloth.

  Lorne : Hmm. Such a small entourage tonight. Hey, Gunn, why didn't you bring your other friends? 'Cause they make a party.

  Charles Gunn : Maybe I should wait outside.

  Lorne : You know, I'm not entirely uncomfortable with that suggestion.

  Trish Burkle : What kind of a place is this?

  Lorne : I was kind of going for a Dresden-after-the-bombing sorta feel.

• Lorne : Figures, right when Judge Judy's about to lay the smack down.