Are You Being Served? (TV Series)
Christmas Crackers (1975)
Trevor Bannister: Mr. Lucas
Photos
Quotes
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[Everyone sings a song 'Christmas time is here"]
Captain Stephen Peacock : Holly, mistletoe, big fir trees And once again a splendid reason To celebrate the festive season, Christmas time is here!
Mr. Mash : I've knocked up a land enchanted, Christmas trees freshly planted. And the reason for my smile- The overtime made it worthwhile!
Mr. Ernest Grainger : I, although a senior member, Get lightheaded in November.
Mr. Lucas : That's why he's dressed up as an egg, And I've lost half my inside leg.
Mrs. Slocombe : Speaking on behalf of blouses, It's rather drafty 'round the houses.
Miss Shirley Brahms : That must be why I saw you shiver.
Captain Stephen Peacock : You should have worn a bigger quiver!
[all sing chorus]
Captain Stephen Peacock , Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold : Even we so far above you At Christmas time just want to love you.
Captain Stephen Peacock : I, after all, must be a sport.
Mr. Ernest Grainger : I trust I shan't be taken short.
Miss Shirley Brahms : Mr. Humphries looks so charming.
Mrs. Slocombe : It's his smile that's so disarming.
Mr. Wilberforce Clayborne Humphries : How kind! But if I were a prince I'd still like Christmas pud and mince.
[all sing chorus]
Mr. Wilberforce Clayborne Humphries : [Young Mr. Grace is brought in]
Captain Stephen Peacock : Young Mr. Grace!
Mrs. Slocombe : And there's the bell!
Captain Stephen Peacock , Mr. Mash , Mr. Ernest Grainger , Mr. Lucas , Mrs. Slocombe , Miss Shirley Brahms , Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold , Mr. Wilberforce Clayborne Humphries : Sit down, sir; you've done very well! We're so happy with our grotto
Mr. Mash : Here's a bottle. Let's get blotto!
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Mrs. Slocombe : I hope we're not going to be late tonight. I've left Winston clinging to the curtain rail. He refuses to come down. The mere sight of my pussy drives him mad.
Mr. Lucas : Is Winston the lodger?
Mrs. Slocombe : No, no, no... he's my canary. He got out while I were changing his sand paper.
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Miss Shirley Brahms : White wine's my favorite! Vin blanc coop-whereabouts is coop?
Mr. Lucas : That's co-op!
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[Mrs. Slocombe is in a Robin Hood costume]
Mrs. Slocombe : Do I have to have this funny quiver 'round the back?
Mr. Lucas : You've always had a funny quiver 'round the back.