Are You Being Served? (TV Series)
Cold Comfort (1974)
Trevor Bannister: Mr. Lucas
Photos
Quotes
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Mr. Dick Lucas : Mr. Humphries, what are you doing?
Mr Humphries : I'm warming me hands in the cashmere. It was so cold last night, I had to iron the sheets before I got into bed.
Mr. Dick Lucas : I tell ya, these power cuts make me wish I was married.
Mr. Mash : Psst. Gov'nor. Psst. Here, lads, what about a cup of under-the-counter cocoa, then?
Mr. Dick Lucas : Oh, yeah. Don't let Peacock see.
Mr. Mash : Well if he complains, he won't get one.
Mr. Dick Lucas : [referring to Mr. Mash] Ha-ha-ha... He's one of us.
[is about to take a sip of the hot chocolate Mr. Mash provided]
Mr. Mash : Ten pence each.
Mr Humphries : He's not one of us.
[he and Mr. Lucas put their hot chocolates back on Mr. Mash's tray]
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Mr. Dick Lucas : I'm sorry I'm late, Captain Peacock.
Captain Peacock : Don't tell me you skated here, Mr. Lucas?
Mr. Dick Lucas : No, no, I went skating last night with a girlfriend and she's got thin blood.
Captain Peacock : What has that to do with your being late?
Mr. Dick Lucas : Well I had to stay the night with her, to keep her circulation going, you know.
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Mrs. Slocombe : Captain Peacock, are you free?
Captain Peacock : At the moment, yes.
Mrs. Slocombe : Could I have a word with you?
Captain Peacock : Certainly.
Mrs. Slocombe : Well, it's rather personal.
Captain Peacock : Ah.
Mrs. Slocombe : Miss Brahms has just been and it's frozen over.
Captain Peacock : I beg your pardon?
Mrs. Slocombe : The ladies. It's solid.
Captain Peacock : I see. But what exactly do you expect me to do about it?
Mrs. Slocombe : Well, I thought I'd ask you if umm... we could use the gents. It's rather urgent.
Captain Peacock : Yes, well, I'll uh have a word with Mr. Grainger. You must go through the right channels, you know.
Mrs. Slocombe : Yeah, well, don't be too long.
[Miss Brahm's mouths "But it's cold"]
Captain Peacock : Are you free, Mr. Grainger?
Mr. Ernest Grainger : Err, yes, I'm free, Captain Peacock.
Captain Peacock : Umm, a slightly delicate situation has arisen. It appears...
[whispers what has had happened into Mr. Grainger's ear]
Mrs. Slocombe : He's asking Grainger.
Miss Shirley Brahms : Oh, fancy telling Grainger I wanted to go.
Mr. Ernest Grainger : Yes, I understand, Captain Peacock. Of course, I shall have to consult my colleagues. Mr. Humphries, Mr. Lucas, are you free?
Mr Humphries , Mr. Dick Lucas : [both together] We're free.
Mrs. Slocombe : Ooh, he'll be sending for Doctor Kissinger in a minute.
Miss Shirley Brahms : It's degrading. He's telling them all now.
Mr. Dick Lucas : Why can't she use the one in the bargain basement?
Mr Humphries : Yes, or the public one on the sports floor?
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Captain Peacock : Are you free, Mr. Grainger?
Mr. Ernest Grainger : Yes, I'm free, Captain Peacock.
Captain Peacock : How long have we been displaying electrical equipment in the Cardinal Woolsey cabinet?
Mr. Ernest Grainger : Are you free, Mr. Humphries?
Mr Humphries : I'm afraid I am, Mr. Grianger. Mr. Lucas is free too.
Mr. Dick Lucas : Thank you.
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Mr. Dick Lucas : Glass of water for Mr. Grainger.
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Young Mr. Grace : Good morning, everybody.
Captain Peacock , Mrs. Slocombe , Mr Humphries , Mr. Dick Lucas , Miss Shirley Brahms , Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold , Mr. Ernest Grainger : Good morning, Mr. Grace.
Young Mr. Grace : I think you've all done very well, working in these cold conditions.
Captain Peacock , Mrs. Slocombe , Mr Humphries , Mr. Dick Lucas , Miss Shirley Brahms , Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold , Mr. Ernest Grainger : Thank you, Mr. Grace.
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Young Mr. Grace : Carry on. You've all done very well.
Captain Peacock , Mrs. Slocombe , Mr Humphries , Mr. Dick Lucas , Miss Shirley Brahms , Mr. Ernest Grainger , Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold : Thank you, Mr. Grace.
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Mr. Dick Lucas : A bit taters in here this morning, innit?
Captain Peacock : You needn't concern yourself with the heat, Mr. Lucas. Mr. Rumbold is going to make an announcement about that in a few moments.
Mr. Dick Lucas : Oh, well, we've got nothing to worry about then, have we? The shear excitement of an announcement by Mr. Rumbold is sending the blood pounding through my temples already.
Mr Humphries : That's not excitement, that's a hangover.
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Young Mr. Grace : I've brought you good news.
Mr. Dick Lucas : We've just had good news. We're going home.
Young Mr. Grace : I've just had the heating turned on again.
Mrs. Slocombe : But I thought there was no fuel left.
Young Mr. Grace : Well, you see, I happen to own the Wharfside Coke Company.
Mr. Dick Lucas : [dismayed] How very fortuitous, Mr. Grace.
Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold : But I thought your men were all on strike, Mr. Grace.
Young Mr. Grace : Ah, yes, yes, but I've sacked the men and had the warehouse chopped up. That should keep our boilers going for a bit.
Mr. Dick Lucas : That's the way to treat the workers, Mr. Grace.