Are You Being Served? (TV Series)

Cold Comfort (1974)

Larry Martyn: Mr. Mash

Quotes 

• Mr. Dick Lucas : Mr. Humphries, what are you doing?

  Mr Humphries : I'm warming me hands in the cashmere. It was so cold last night, I had to iron the sheets before I got into bed.

  Mr. Dick Lucas : I tell ya, these power cuts make me wish I was married.

  Mr. Mash : Psst. Gov'nor. Psst. Here, lads, what about a cup of under-the-counter cocoa, then?

  Mr. Dick Lucas : Oh, yeah. Don't let Peacock see.

  Mr. Mash : Well if he complains, he won't get one.

  Mr. Dick Lucas : [referring to Mr. Mash]  Ha-ha-ha... He's one of us.

  [is about to take a sip of the hot chocolate Mr. Mash provided] 

  Mr. Mash : Ten pence each.

  Mr Humphries : He's not one of us.

  [he and Mr. Lucas put their hot chocolates back on Mr. Mash's tray] 

• Mr. Mash : [whispering]  Nice hot cup of cocoa, Captain?

  Captain Peacock : [reaches for cup, then hesitates]  Leave the floor.

  Mr. Mash : I'll leave one round the back for you.

  Captain Peacock : I didn't hear that.

  Mr. Mash : [shouts]  I said I'd leave one round the back for you!