Are You Being Served? (TV Series)
Diamonds Are a Man's Best Friend (1973)
Frank Thornton: Captain Peacock
Photos
Quotes
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Mr. Ernest Grainger : Captain Peacock, are you free?
Captain Stephen Peacock : Yes I'm free, Mr. Grainger.
Mr. Ernest Grainger : I hope you won't mind my mentioning the fact but I, I left my purse behind on the wireless in the kitchen this morning.
Captain Stephen Peacock : No, I don't mind you mentioning it at all.
Mr. Ernest Grainger : No, well I was wondering if you could let me have the pound back which I lent you yesterday?
Captain Stephen Peacock : Of course, Mr. Grainger, I... Oh dear. I too, seem to have left my notecase in the study on top of the color television set.
Mr. Ernest Grainger : Oh, have you? I seem to remember that you did the same thing last Friday, Stephen.
Captain Stephen Peacock : Yes, Ernest. Yes, it seems I'm, I'm getting rather forgetful.
Mr. Ernest Grainger : Yes, that's why I reminded you about the pound.
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Captain Stephen Peacock : Miss Brahms...?
Miss Shirley Brahms : Yes, I know, Captain Peacock. I'm late.
Captain Stephen Peacock : Not good enough, Miss Brahms. You are fifteen minutes late. What would happen if everybody else was fifteen minutes late?
Miss Shirley Brahms : The store would open at quarter past.
Mrs. Betty Slocombe : Don't be cheeky, Miss Brahms. Captain Peacock is quite within his rights to dress you down.
Captain Stephen Peacock : Have you an explanation?
Miss Shirley Brahms : Yes. It's Friday. I haven't got any money. And I couldn't afford the bus fare. I had to hitchhike.
Captain Stephen Peacock : Well you should have left home earlier.
Miss Shirley Brahms : I did. I stood on the corner, and lifted my skirt and showed a bit of stocking like Marilyn Monroe did in "Bus Stop".
Captain Stephen Peacock : What happened?
Miss Shirley Brahms : The bus crashed and I had to make a statement.
Mrs. Betty Slocombe : The same thing happened to me once, with a Centurion tank.
Captain Stephen Peacock : Were you trying to stop it, Mrs. Slocombe, or were you driving it?
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Captain Stephen Peacock : Only a woman with your persuasive tongue, Mrs. Slocombe, could unload a forty four long on to a thirty six short.
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Captain Stephen Peacock : Mr. Humphries, Mr. Lucas, are you free?
Mr. Wilberforce Clayborne Humphries , Mr. Dick Lucas : [both together] Yes, we're free.
Captain Stephen Peacock : Check these please.
[hands them their pay slips]
Captain Stephen Peacock : Mr. Grainger, are you free?
Mr. Ernest Grainger : At the moment... Thank you.
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Captain Stephen Peacock : How much is the reward, sir?
Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold : I beg your pardon?
Captain Stephen Peacock : How much is the reward?
Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold : How... how much is the reward?...
Captain Stephen Peacock : Yes.
Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold : Erm... 75 pounds! How does that sound?
Mr. Dick Lucas : Very convincing, Sir.
[to Mr. Humphries]
Mr. Dick Lucas : The old chiseller's trying to do us out of twenty five quid.
Mr. Wilberforce Clayborne Humphries : It's his ears you know. When they're low set, like that, it means they've got criminal instincts.