- Old Mr. Grace: How long have you been frightened of the dark, my dear?
- Miss Virginia Edwards: Ever since you blew out all the candles, Mr. Grace.
- Miss Brahms: [walks onto the floor with Mrs. Slocombe, carrying candles because the lights are out] We spent 10p for these candles, and we still couldn't find the ladies' room.
- Mr. Beverley Harman: Why don't you pop down to Pets? They've got a special offer on kitty litter.
- Mrs. Slocombe: Captain Peacock, are you going to just stand there and let me be insulted?
- Captain Peacock: This seems as good a place as any.
- [Mr. Spooner walks in with a handheld, non-electric lamp]
- Captain Peacock: Oh, that's better.
- Mr. Bert Spooner: I had to kiss three girls in Camping to get this.
- Miss Brahms: But there's only two girls in Camping, and a man with a beard!
- Mr. Bert Spooner: So I found out when I lit the lamp.