- [Mr Lucas is getting into a spare bed with Captain Peacock]
- Captain Peacock: Humphries?
- Mr. Lucas: Lucas.
- Captain Peacock: Thank Heaven for that.
- [Mrs Slocombe is in the middle of moving house and has had to bring her cat and budgie to work]
- Captain Stephen Peacock: Mrs Slocombe, there is a strict rule that staff may not bring pets to the store!
- Mrs. Betty Slocombe: Well, y'know how clumsy those removal men are. I'm not having them handling my pussy!
- Mr. Humphries: You know, when I was cleaning out our attic the other day, I found an old calendar called "The Week of Love." It had Monday for Meeting, Tuesday for Talking, Wednesday for Wishing, Thursday for Touching, and Friday for some reason had been torn out.