- Michael: My mother is opposed to the idea of hiring a new attorney. She'll probably refuse to enter the room if she sees you.
- Wayne Jarvis: I shall hide behind the couch.
- [and he does just that]
- Michael: Guy's a pro.
- [George Michael is trying to explain to his uncle why he cannot take off a muscle suit]
- George Michael Bluth: I just can't take it off. You'll never understand.
- Tobias Fünke: ...I'll never understand? That you can never be nude?
- [he disrobes, exposing his cut-off jeans]
- Tobias Fünke: I'll understand more than you'll... never know.
- Maebe: [attempting to get her parents to notice her] Here are the fake airline tickets. If they don't see this, I really might go to South America.
- George Michael: [notices a flaw] That says, "Portugal".
- Maebe: [oblivious] That's right.
- Narrator: Maeby's parents didn't see the tickets, but her Uncle Gob did.
- Gob: [examines the tickets, thinking they're Michael's] Portugal? Well, gonna live it up in ol' South America, aren't we, Michael?
- Michael: There's a big bowl of candy in my office, why don't you go eat it?
- [Lucille enters and while the door is closing]
- Wayne Jarvis: Wayne Jarvis, attorney at law. I have a responsibility to tell you that there is *no* candy in this office.
- Michael: Yes, this is Michael Bluth for Barry.
- Barry Zuckerkorn: [to his secretary] I'm not here!
- Barry's Secretary: Barry's not in right now. Would you like to leave her a message?
- Michael: Yeah, tell her she needs to whisper a little softer next time, *and* I'm not paying for this phone call!
- Barry Zuckerkorn: I am not a girl, you...
- Barry's Secretary: [pulls out a tape recorder] Go ahead, call me something. I'm redecorating my kitchen.
- Lucille: You idiots. If he sees me with Wayne...
- Michael: ...we'll be stuck with Barry.
- Wayne Jarvis: I shall duck behind that little garbage car.
- [Wayne goes to hide]
- Michael: Guy's a pro.
- Barry Zuckerkorn: Okay. First of all--
- [looks at Lucille Bluth]
- Barry Zuckerkorn: What are you doing? Pilates? Because no 40-year old woman should look like that.
- Michael: Well, no 40-year old woman does look like that.
- Barry Zuckerkorn: Okay. I'm going to get out of your hair. We'll talk about this money later in the week.
- Michael: Excuse me. We're not going to pay $20,000 to get my dad out for one day.
- Barry Zuckerkorn: No. It's a bond. It's all refundable, unlike my time.
- Narrator: ...And Michael was forced to, once again, call in the counsel of Barry Zuckercorn.
- George Bluth Sr.: Thank you for coming down on Christmas Eve.
- Barry Zuckerkorn: Oh, it's like any other day, except that I bill double.
- [voice over]
- Narrator: And Michael had been getting along with his sister, Lindsay. This was unwelcome news to Lucille, who feared that this unity may be used against her.