Arrested Development (TV Series)

Let 'Em Eat Cake (2004)

Jason Bateman: Michael Bluth

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gob : Zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the firstborn. I'm sick of playing second fiddle. I'm always third in line for everything. I'm tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over.

  Michael : You want to be in charge?

  Gob : Yeah.

  Michael : You want to deal with what I deal with? A sister who takes your money and throws it away. A mother who you can't trust. A company whose founder may be on trial for treason. Is that what you want?

  Gob : What kind of vacation time does it offer?

• Gob : Nothing works in this house.

  Michael : Tell me about it.

  Lindsay Funke : Is that a shot at me?

  Gob : Probably.

  Lindsay Funke : Because for your information, I got a job.

  Michael : Really? What kind of job?

  Lindsay Funke : Beads.

  Gob : Bees?

  Lindsay Funke : Beads.

  Gob : Beads?

  Michael : Gob's not on board.

• Michael Bluth : Do you know what they do to people who commit treason?

  George Sr. : First time!

  Michael Bluth : I've never heard of a second.

  George Sr. : I got the worst

  [bleep] 

  George Sr. : -ing attorneys.

• Michael Bluth : Tell me the truth, okay? 'Cause there's been a lot of lying in this family.

  Lucille Bluth : And a lot of love.

  Michael Bluth : More lies.

• George Michael Bluth : [Michael wants to leave his family]  I like the family. I mean, if we leave, who's gonna take care of these people?

  Michael : I don't know. The state or the police. Maybe the Magician's Alliance will pick up some slack.

• Michael Bluth : Everybody, I'm, I'm very sorry. Okay? I-I feel awful. I should have been here. I'm the one that was supposed to take that polygraph test and then I just turned on him, then this happened. But never again. Okay? I will never ever leave this family no matter what.

  Lucille Bluth : You should have been here.

  Michael Bluth : I feel like I covered that.

  Lucille Bluth : Well, you didn't say it.

  Michael Bluth : [Flashback]  I feel awful. I should have been here.

  [End Flashback] 

  Michael Bluth : Maybe you're right, maybe I didn't say it. I should have been here.

• Michael Bluth : A date? But we had plans to... A date with who?

  Maeby Fünke : Some girl. I mean, she barely has a face. You couldn't pick her out of a lineup of one.

• Gob : I've got a meeting with Dad's attorney today. He's going to want me to take a lie detector test to use as evidence in Dad's trial, but I don't want to. What if they ask about a magic trick? I can't risk it.

  Michael Bluth : They're not going to ask you anything. They want me to take the polygraph test.

  Gob : But I'm the oldest. The matriarch if you will.

  Michael Bluth : Oh, sure, I will.

• Michael Bluth : So there's no sex?

  Lindsay Funke : I mean, how do you not have sex with me?