Arrested Development (TV Series)

Public Relations (2004)

David Cross: Tobias Fünke

Quotes 

• Tobias Fünke : [reading a script with terrible acting]  "I don't know what you heard about me, but I'm a different kind of cop. I'm from the streets, and I'm the last cop you'll ever want to mess with in a darkened al - dark alley

  [drops the act] 

  Tobias Fünke : Oh, you know, maybe my wife is right. I'm not cut out to be a DeNiro, or a Regis, or a Pinkett-Smith. I shou...

  Carl Weathers : Whoa, whoa, whoa, Tobias, listen to me. Dreams are worth fighting for. Now, are you gonna be an actor, or are you gonna be a doctor?

  Tobias Fünke : You're right, Carl Weathers! I should just march into that restaurant where my wife works and...

  Carl Weathers : Whoa, your wife works in a restaurant? Do they get free shift meals or a discount on select menu items?

  Tobias Fünke : Uh, I don't know.

  Carl Weathers : Well, let's find out, man!

• George Michael Bluth : You know, I have a job.

  Tobias Fünke : [coughing]  Kiss ass... well we were all thinking it.

  Buster : Uh, I'm unclear about what it is exactly you do...

  Jessie Bowers : Excellent question, what a publicist does is...

  Buster : No, no, no I was talking to George Michael. When did you get a job?

  George Michael Bluth : At the banana stand.

  Buster : Oh! Duh! I thought you meant like a plumber or something and I was like 'when did that happen?'

• Gob Bluth : I'm sorry. Isn't Michael the least likable one in the family?

  Jessie : No. There are very few intelligent, attractive, and straight men in this town.

  Tobias Fünke : Well, that certainly leaves me out.

  [the family stares at him] 

  Tobias Fünke : She... She said single. You did say single, correct? I thought l...