- Lucille Bluth: And guess what else is back?
- [Lucille winks]
- Michael Bluth: My breakfast?
- Lucille Bluth: My friskiness. Mama horny, Michael.
- Michael Bluth: No, it's my breakfast. I'm amazed Dad hasn't strangled himself with his belt yet.
- Lucille Bluth: Oh, we're into all kinds of freaky stuff.
- Michael Bluth: Why do I eat breakfast before I come here?
- Tobias Fünke: Gob, I would like to be in your trick and there's someone I'd like to put in a plug for. Or... should I say 4,000 plugs?
- Gob: [Tobias removes his cap and his hair plugs are bleeding] Oh god...
- Lupe: Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay!
- Michael: [while Lindsay, George Sr., and Lucille are all doing chicken dances] Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken?
- George Sr.: [talking about his house arrest] You gotta get me out of here.
- Michael Bluth: You're the one that said "no" to prison.
- George Sr.: I was wrong. There you just had to shut your eyes and take it. Here, you have to shut your eyes and give it.
- Michael Bluth: I knew you wouldn't have the guts to go through with the divorce.
- Lindsay Funke: You're one to talk. You haven't had a serious relationship since your wife. And you guys weren't even speaking toward the end.
- Michael Bluth: Lot of that was the coma.
- Lindsay Funke: Yeah, I've heard your side of it.
- George Sr.: You didn't hear, we lost Andy.
- Michael: What? What are you talking about? He didn't like his trailer?
- Lindsay Funke: He thought we were making fun of him.
- Narrator: [the camera pans over to reveal the log cabin truck] No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough.
- Gob: So you came back here to hide like a child.
- Michael Bluth: What are you doing locked in my office, exactly?
- Gob: Hiding FROM a child. Big difference.
- Gob: My God. What is this feeling?
- Michael Bluth: You know, the feeling that you're, that you're feeling, it's just what many of us call a feeling.
- Gob: It's not like envy. Or even hungry.
- Michael Bluth: Could it be love?
- Gob: I know what an erection feels like, Michael.
- Gob: Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A protestacular!
- Gob: The illusion is called "Free Bird." A magical bird--me in a beak--stands on a platform. There's a puff of smoke, then I'm gone. Then seconds later, high above in a once-empty cage, who should appear?
- Lucille Bluth: A guy that kind of looks like you?
- Gob: No... Not how I do the trick. Even if it was, how'd the look-alike get up there?
- Michael Bluth: He was hiding behind this mirror here?
- Gob: No!