Bat Masterson (TV Series)

River Boat (1959)

Gene Barry: Bat Masterson

Quotes 

• First Mate : I hope you don't mind checking your gun, Mr. Masterson. We like to keep the peace aboard.

  Bat Masterson : Suits me. Gunplay uses up good poker time.

  First Mate : Ah, your gunbelt...

  Bat Masterson : I can't. It's holdin' up my britches.

• King Henry : My dear ladies, there's absolutely no reason for alarm. You are merely being held as hostages. No harm will come to you at all, as long as your fellow passengers do exactly what they are told. If there's any resistance or uprising or revolt of any kind, you will be shot...

  [fires two shots into the ceiling] 

  King Henry : ...thusly.

  McCabe : Why you filthy, no good riverb...

  [the "first mate" strikes him with his pistol butt] 

  King Henry : Now where was I?

  Bat Masterson : The hostages will be shot... thusly.

• Bat Masterson : Next time remind me never to save the lives of husbands of beautiful young women.

• [Bat asks Kyle to nail him into a empty cheese barrel so he can follow the pirates after they leave the riverboat] 

  Kyle : Are you sure you want to do this, Bat?

  Bat Masterson : I'd climb into a snakepit to get back $10,000.

• Paulson : You're not figurin' on shooting the four of us b'fore one of us gets you, are you, Mr. Masterson?

  Bat Masterson : Indeed I do, Mr. Paulson.

  [fires three quick, accurate shots] 

  Bat Masterson : Any questions, Mr. Paulson?