Bat Masterson (TV Series)

Two Graves for Swan Valley (1958)

Gene Barry: Bat Masterson

Quotes 

• Bat Masterson : Hey, Smithy! Take care of horse - he's a friend of mine.

• [Bat gives his horse to the blacksmith] 

  Bat Masterson : Why don't you strip him and rub him down.

  Tom Noble, Justice of the Peace : I wouldn't even stay that long!

  Bat Masterson : Small town, lots of advice.

• Bat Masterson : Mr. Noble, I don't care if Foley is a rustler, a night rider or a murderer, or if Swan Valley's his Robber's Roost.

  Tom Noble, Justice of the Peace : Then you'll be leavin'?

  Bat Masterson : Oh, no. I'm stayin'.

  Tom Noble, Justice of the Peace : Confound it, why?

  Bat Masterson : Well, he said a mean thing to me.

• Molly Doyle : There's something I think you should know about Sergeant Foley.

  Bat Masterson : Oh? There's quite a bit I know about him already. Court martialed out of the army, does a lot of night riding so it will be cooler for his horses, contributes to charities such as the Justice of the Peace... Swan Valley's model rustler.

• Molly Doyle : Angus thinks you better leave town. If you don't, Foley'll kill you.

  Bat Masterson : There's a law says he won't.

  Molly Doyle : What law?

  Bat Masterson : Self-preservation.

• [Bat walks down the street wearing his bowler, formal suit and cane] 

  Pete the Blacksmith : You got the right idea, Masterson.

  Bat Masterson : Yes, Pete?

  Pete the Blacksmith : Long as you decide to stay, you might as well be dressed to be laid out at any time.

• [Bat buys a license to run a poker game] 

  Angus McLarnin : Where are you goin' to operate, Bat?

  Bat Masterson : Right here: back to the wall, eyes on the front door.

• Sergeant Foley : Some people just can't be told, can they?

  Bat Masterson : You're welcome to try your luck.

• Molly Doyle : You're a fool.

  Angus McLarnin : But I'm not. If there is a shootout in my place and they get you, I'll be obliged to take the wreckage out of your wallet.

  Bat Masterson : Angus, a deal's a deal.

• Bat Masterson : This Foley - where can I find him?

  Angus McLarnin : How many draws are there leading into the Tetons? How many huts? How many abandoned ranch houses?

• Dank, Henchman : Congratulations!

  [Foley's henchman holds his hand out to Bat] 

  Bat Masterson : I seldom shake hands. I caught a fungus once.