Batman (TV Series)

Penguin Is a Girl's Best Friend (1967)

Burgess Meredith: The Penguin

Quotes 

• The Penguin : [the Penguin and his henchmen appear to br robbing an armoured car as Batman and Robin make their approach]  What are you buttinskies doing here?

  Batman : Just a little scholary research, Penguin.

  The Penguin : [Batman and Robin begin fighting the Penguin's henchmen]  Stop! Stop this outrageous intrusion!

  The Penguin : [the fighting continues]  Cease I say! Cease and desist!

  The Penguin : [Batman and Robin finish fighting the henchmen]  Stop, you bumbling buffoons! This is legal, I tell you! It's legal!

  Batman : Have you heard anything about legalized thievery, Robin?

  Robin : Can't say that I have, Batman.

  The Penguin : I'll wipe those silly smirks off your faces in court! I'll sue you for assault and battery, and aggravated interference!

  Batman : You're witnessing the final disintegration of the criminal brain, Robin. Years of outlawry has taken it's inevitable toll.

  Robin : But he's right about our being in court, Batman.

  [to the Penguin] 

  Robin : We'll be the prosecution's star witnesses when they try you for armed robbery!

• The Penguin : [hits a button on his phone]  Prop Department?

  Set Department : No, Mister Penguin. This is the Set Department.

  The Penguin : [hits another button]  Prop Department?

  Publicity : Sorry, Mister Penguin. This is Publicity.

  The Penguin : [hits another button]  Prop Department?

  [hits another] 

  The Penguin : Prop Department?

  [another] 

  The Penguin : PROP DEPARTMENT!

  Prop Department : Yes, Mister Penguin?

  The Penguin : I forgot what I wanted you for.

• Marsha, Queen of Diamonds : Does Batman have a love scene with the leading lady in your film?

  The Penguin : [laughs]  Of course. Who ever heard about a film without a love scene?

  Marsha, Queen of Diamonds : Then I shall be your leading lady. Or no diamonds.

• Marsha, Queen of Diamonds : Skip the compliments, darling. You wouldn't have asked me here if you didn't want something.

  The Penguin : Yes, I do want something. I want to make you a millionairess.

  Marsha, Queen of Diamonds : How boring, I'm already a millionairess.

  The Penguin : Heh heh heh! True. And how would you like to be a billionairess?

  Marsha, Queen of Diamonds : [perks up]  That's interesting.