- Batman: Remember what Commissioner Gordon said: Ma Parker's girl is more dangerous than her three boys.
- Robin: Hmmm. Her legs sort of reminded me of Catwoman's.
- Batman: [chuckles] You're growing up, Robin. Remember, in crime-fighting, always keep your sights raised.
- [gently pushes Robin's chin upwards]
- Aunt Harriet Cooper: [helping an increasingly-frustrated Dick learn Greek verbs] Now what do you want to do first: parse, conjugate, or decline?
- Dick Grayson: [using a slightly different definition than Aunt Harriet meant] Decline!
- Batman: Come on, Robin. Let's help a little old lady across the street... and into the penitentiary!
- Batman: Why... this criminal record is incredible.
- [raises voice]
- Batman: How, gentlemen, how has this Ma Parker remained at large?
- Commissioner Gordon: She's crafty, Batman, she's clever, but most of all, she's motherly.
- [first lines]
- Narrator: Another dazzling day in Gotham City, a metropolis which prides itself on family fidelity, paternal devotion, and most particularly, its annual "Mother of the Year" presentation.
- [last lines]
- Narrator: Ma Parker ruling the pen! Dynamite in the engine! Will the Batmobile be blasted? Will the Boy Wonder be bombed? Will Batman be blown to bits? It can't be true! Or can it? Don't miss the next bat-episode! Same bat-time, same bat-channel!
- Ma Parker: [flagging down a passing truck to escape Batman] Sonny, would you give a poor old lady a lift?
- Truck Driver: Beat it, Granny!
- Ma Parker: [pulling a machine gun] Is that any way to talk to your elders?