- Egghead: Don't tell me that you're falling for this cowled clown?
- Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: Maybe, maybe not. We are seeing.
- Egghead: But you are engaged to me! How dare you two-time me. And especially with this caped creep!
- Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: How dare you tell me what to do, me Olga, Queen of the Tsarovian Cossacks.
- Egghead: Olga, Schmolga! You'd still be washing dishes in that run down Bessarovian restaurant if it wasn't for me!
- Batman: Wedding Borscht?
- Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: Of course, Batushka.
- Batman: But I thought you were engaged to marry Egghead?
- Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: I'll marry both of you. Cossack queen is permitted up to six husbands. Oh, but do not worry, Batushka, you will always be number one in my heart.
- Commissioner Gordon: You two will never get away with this!
- Egghead: Oh really, Commissioner, I wish someone would write you a new line, that one is getting so tired.
- Chief O'Hara: Batgirl!
- [walks over to her]
- Chief O'Hara: Thanks heavens your here. Eh, but why are ye here?
- Batgirl: Shall we say a hunch, Chief O'Hara? Some sixth sense that things aren't quite right in Gotham City.
- Chief O'Hara: Not only in Gotham City but in this office. The Commissioner's been kidnapped.
- Batgirl: Kidnapped! My fa- Commissioner Gordon kidnapped?
- Gilligan: Hello, Chief. The usual?
- Chief O'Hara: Right, Gilligan. A large milk and a hot pastrami.
- Egghead: Never mind the pastrami. Chief O'Hara would like half a dozen eggs. How do you like them, Chief?
- [sits down]
- Chief O'Hara: Why you!
- [raises fist]
- Egghead: Now, one hand on me and you'll never see your dear Commissioner again, Chief.
- Chief O'Hara: You win, Egghead.
- Egghead: Now how did you say you liked your eggs?
- Chief O'Hara: [grumbling] Scrambled.
- Egghead: Hmm. Bring Chief O'Hara half a dozen - no, make it a dozen scrambled eggs.
- Batgirl: My father uses a very rare brand of aftershave lotion called Wellington no 4. It's imported from Sumatra.
- Alfred: I know the brand. A former employer of mine, the Earl of Chutney used to use it. If I remember correctly, it's ingredients contain a small amount of curryroot. Which gives it a very pungent aroma, quite unlike any other aftershave lotion.
- Batgirl: Yes, the aroma is unmistakable.
- Egghead: What's this? You've captured the Caped Crusaders! Olga, you egg-squisite, diabolical genius!
- Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: But of course!
- Egghead: How did you do it?
- Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: By underhand trick, what else?
- Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: No troubles, Batushka! Or we are making shashlik out of little Malchik and old Commissionar!