Batman: The Animated Series (TV Series)

The Cape and Cowl Conspiracy (1992)

Bud Cort: Josiah Wormwood

Quotes 

• Commissioner James Gordon : When we collared the Quirian agent at the airport, he sang like a bird. And he fingered you as the guy who was gonna sell him the bonds. Oh, I almost forgot. This came for you.

  Josiah Wormwood : [taking a parcel and reading the accompanying note]  "Confinement will speed your reform, but long cold nights will be the norm, so here's a thing to keep you warm"? Well!

  [opening it, he discovers Batman's cape and cowl] 

• Courier McWhirter : "Where tracks and golf balls roll and wind, round colored banners of all kind. Here, new instructions will you find."

  Josiah Wormwood : You've come to the right place, Mr. McWhirter. You won't be able to find me. Just follow the sound of my voice.

  Courier McWhirter : Who the devil are you?

  Josiah Wormwood : Well, for a diplomatic courier, you're not very diplomatic, are you?

  Courier McWhirter : If you're my contact, what's the countersign?

  Josiah Wormwood : Tsk, tsk, tsk. Patience, patience. All your questions will be answered, dear boy, if you'll simply follow the running lights.

  Courier McWhirter : [doing so]  Okay, I'm here. Now what?

  [he starts to sink into quicksand] 

  Josiah Wormwood : Now, then, about that collection of bearer bonds you're supposed to transport... if you'll just tell me where I can find them... you might get out of here alive.

• Josiah Wormwood : If I might call your attention to the panel sliding open along the ceiling. It's uncovering a 20,000-watt halogen bulb. I don't actually know how hot 20,000 watts make a room, but I do know that it melts wax.

  [the figures around Batman begin to melt] 

  Josiah Wormwood : And eventually... it will melt you.

  [Batman tries to escape with his grapple gun] 

  Josiah Wormwood : Of course, you can save yourself simply by giving me your cape and cowl. After all, it looks like your weapons are covered with wax. No hurry. I'll wait.

• Josiah Wormwood : Stop stalling, Jozek. I've got the goods. Have you got my certified check?

  'Baron' Waclaw Jozek : I have indeed.

  [Wormwood moves to take it] 

  'Baron' Waclaw Jozek : Uh, but first, let us drink to our success.

  Josiah Wormwood : On one condition. Will you tell me why you wanted Batman's cape and cowl, finally?

  'Baron' Waclaw Jozek : Ah, but you know my condition. You must tell me your secret, then I will tell you mine. What did you do with those bonds? And who commissioned their theft?

  Josiah Wormwood : [sighing]  If you really want to know. An agent of the Quirian Emirates will get the bonds from a locker at Pan-Europa Airways tomorrow when I meet him there to give him this key. Now, what will you do with the cape and cowl?

  'Baron' Waclaw Jozek : [chuckling]  I am going...

  Batman : [changing]  ... to wear them.

  Josiah Wormwood : You're not... Jozek? You were playing... playing me for a fool.

  Batman : From the day you first walked in here.

• 'Baron' Waclaw Jozek : Do you have the items?

  Josiah Wormwood : Uh... no. The first apparatus...

  'Baron' Waclaw Jozek : The trap at the old railway exhibit?

  Josiah Wormwood : Yes. He beat it.

  'Baron' Waclaw Jozek : So there will have to be others?

  Josiah Wormwood : Only one. And this time, I shall put the man himself in jeopardy. I have a facility at DeLarue's Wax Museum that will serve our purposes nicely.

  'Baron' Waclaw Jozek : Just see that you succeed.

  Josiah Wormwood : Oh, I will. And once you have what you want, you must tell me why...

  [Jozek hangs up] 

  Josiah Wormwood : Well!

• Josiah Wormwood : Ah, nothing like a breath of fresh air, eh, Batman? And now, your cape and cowl, please.

  Bruce Wayne : [he removes them and throws them away]  Satisfied?

  Josiah Wormwood : Actually, no. I wonder if you would put those down neatly over here by the light.

  [he does so] 

  Josiah Wormwood : A second mask? Not as confident as we seem then, are we? Well, keep your silly identity. These are all I require.