Batman: The Animated Series (TV Series)
The Laughing Fish (1993)
Arleen Sorkin: Harley Quinn
Photos
Quotes
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The Joker : If this lunch meat figured out where we are, Batman won't be far behind. And why spoil my sharky's appetite, when I can feed him bigger fish?
Harley Quinn : Eyugh! Again with the fish, I *hate* fish!
[off Joker's glare]
Harley Quinn : Uh, no offense, Mr. J.
The Joker : Poor Harley. This entire caper's been really rough on you, hasn't it?
Harley Quinn : Uh-huh.
The Joker : Cheer up! You can be my very own little mermaid.
[Harley squeals with joy, then Joker pulls a giant rubber fish head over her, and laughs]
Harley Quinn : You're really sick, you know that, boss?
The Joker : Mmm-hmmm.
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The Joker : Good morning, Mr., uh...
[looking at his name plate]
The Joker : Francis. Please allow me to introduce my associates. Ms. Quinn.
Harley Quinn : Enchante.
The Joker : And messers, uh... oh. Their names escape me for the moment. No matter. We gentlemen of business have arrangements to discuss.
G. Carl Francis : Uh... arrangements?
The Joker : For my fish, of course. This has all been worked out far in advance, Francis. You are merely the last tiny cog in my grand design.
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[on TV Harley stands in the kitchen wearing a "kiss the cook" apron. The Joker's men are made up as young children]
Harley Quinn : They're finny and funny and oh so delish. They're joyful and jolly. Jokerfish!
The Joker : Say, Mom, wondering what to feed the family tonight?
Harley Quinn : What'll I feed the family tonight?
[the Joker enters wearing a raincoat and hat. He looks like an old sea captain]
The Joker : Arr! Try me famous Joker fish. There's Smiling Smelt, Giggling Grouper and Happy Haddock.
Alfred Pennyworth : [Watching with Batman] This could cause a stampede to pork.
The Joker : [He holds up a fork with a morsel of fish to Harley's mouth] Yummy yum yum. Eat it!
Harley Quinn : Uh, Mr. J? I have this little problem with fish.
[he shoves the food into her mouth]
Harley Quinn : [With her mouth full] Yummy yum yum.
[Harley steps offscreen. The Joker turns to face the camera]
The Joker : Yes, friends, that's Jokerfish.
[Harley is heard puking up the fish]
The Joker : Tasty, tempting, and of course...
Joker's Men : Naturally low in cholesterol.
The Joker : Coming to your local store.
[He begins to grow angry]
The Joker : As soon as that nasty Mr. G. Carl Francis decides to give me my legal cut of the profits!
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Harley Quinn : Oh, my poor, poor puddin'.
Detective Harvey Bullock : Come on, he was a demented, abusive, psychotic maniac.
Harley Quinn : Yeah. I'm really gonna miss him.
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Harley Quinn : Freeze, coppa! I got you covered, see?
Detective Harvey Bullock : Well, if it ain't laughing boy's little henchwench. You're outgunned, sugar.
Harley Quinn : Do tell.
Detective Harvey Bullock : [she fires her gun, and he's restrained with a bundle of ropes] AH! What? Whoa!
The Joker : ["catching him" with a rod and reel] Hoo! Look at what I caught. Kind of runty, though.
[suspending him over a shark tank]
The Joker : I'm gonna have to throw it back.
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Harleen Quinzel : [the Joker places a giant fish head over Harley] You're really sick, you know that, boss?
The Joker : Hmm-humm.