- Mrs. Rose Cassidy: Oh it's so awful out there, it was raining like this Mr. Cassidy and I eloped. He fell off the ladder and broke his clavicle, it almost ruined our honeymoon.
- Benson DuBois, Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: Almost?
- Benson DuBois: Your card says you're in the travel business, what sort of trips do you arrange?
- The Grim Reaper: Well I specialize in one-way journeys.
- Benson DuBois: One-way? Well how do they get back?
- The Grim Reaper: They generally don't. Though not long ago, there was a man in Houston...
- Benson DuBois: [Mrs. Cassidy screams] What happened?
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: I don't know, I don't know.
- Mrs. Rose Cassidy: It's an old Irish curse, on Halloween of all nights!
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: What curse?
- Mrs. Rose Cassidy: If a teacup on All Hallow's Eve, falls upon the floor, prepare your mortal self to leave, for death is at the door!
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: Well I don't get it, what does it mean?
- Benson DuBois: Kraus, it's a curse, don't pry!
- Mrs. Rose Cassidy: Don't you see? It means that someone is going to die tonight.
- Benson DuBois: [thunder claps, the lights go out, the doors open, and G. Reaper appears] Kraus, your date's here.
- Clayton Runnymede Endicott III: Sir, I don't think it's wise to let that weirdo in your office, the man dresses like the proprietor of a torture chamber.
- Benson DuBois: He's probably just on his way to a Halloween party.
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: Yeah, besides, how would it look if the governor refused shelter to a man in distress?
- Mrs. Rose Cassidy: He's not a man! He's the Irish curse! He's the specter of death living amongst us!
- Benson DuBois: Eh, he might be the specter of death, but he's certainly not Irish.
- Mrs. Rose Cassidy: Did you feel how cold it got in there when he appeared?
- Benson DuBois: Well of course it got cold, the doors blew open!
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: But Benson, Benson, it was a different kind of cold, from another dimension!
- Benson DuBois: Ah *you're* from another dimension.
- Clayton Runnymede Endicott III: What a pinhead.
- Benson DuBois: Tonight you'll have to be more specific, Clayton, who's a pinhead?
- Clayton Runnymede Endicott III: I was thinking about Mrs. Cassidy.
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: Clayton, you shouldn't make fun of people's beliefs.
- Clayton Runnymede Endicott III: Oh sir, believing that death has come to call in the form of 'Mr. Reaper'.
- [wolf howls]
- Benson DuBois: That *is* a dog, isn't it?
- Clayton Runnymede Endicott III: Superstitions and myth, why do people make up all these conjectures about death?
- Benson DuBois: Because we don't know the whole story, so far no one's sent us a postcard from the other side.
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: That's not true, there was this man in Houston who died on the operating table and he came back.
- Benson DuBois: To Houston?
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: I believe so. Anyway he said that Heaven was a great green field with lights all around and a hole in the middle of the sky.
- Benson DuBois: Oh balderdash, that's not Heaven, that's the Astrodome.
- The Grim Reaper: [after proving he's Death] Does that convince you?
- Benson DuBois: Oh yeah, that'll do it. What I want to know is, why are you here?
- The Grim Reaper: The 41 school children on the bus.
- Benson DuBois: Please, please don't take them, their lives are just getting started.
- The Grim Reaper: Mr. DuBois, I'm merely doing my job.
- Benson DuBois: Look, what do those kids mean to you? You're gonna get them someday anyway.
- The Grim Reaper: What are you getting at?
- Benson DuBois: I want you to leave the kids alone.
- The Grim Reaper: You challenge death, Mr. DuBois?
- Benson DuBois: Well if you want to call it that, better yet, call it a game. Let's play a game, if I win, you leave the state empty-handed.
- The Grim Reaper: And if I win?
- Benson DuBois: If you win... then the tour goes on as planned with one more seat reserved for me.
- The Grim Reaper: I don't usually do this, Mr. DuBois, but you're such an unusual fellow, oh you'd be quite a prize if I could bring you in early.
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: [on the phone] Hello, KAMP radio? This is Governor Gatling... no I don't have a request, I have an emergency announcement. I'm on hold.
- The Grim Reaper: [storm rages outside] I haven't known this kind of weather since last I have passed here.
- Benson DuBois: Oh, so you have been around here before?
- The Grim Reaper: Oh yes, a few years ago I arranged a journey for 93 travelers from Irontown.
- Benson DuBois: Irontown, I never heard of it. Are you sure it's around here?
- The Grim Reaper: Quite sure.
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: [answers phone] Hello, yes this is Governor Gatling. What? Oh... well,
- [gasp]
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: alright, uh, just keep me posted. Bye.
- [hangs up]
- Benson DuBois: What is it now?
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: A school bus from Central High is missing, 41 kids and the driver, they think it went into the river.
- Benson DuBois: I'll get on it right away.
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: [looks out the window at the storm raging] When will it end?
- The Grim Reaper: Isn't that man's eternal question? When? When will it end?
- [grins sinisterly]
- Radio announcer: This is a KAMP Radio news alert. Our top story on this Halloween night, gale force winds and rain continue to pelt Capital City. Several major highways have been flooded, isolating some of the outlying regions. Stay tuned to KAMP Radio for emergency flood news.
- Mrs. Rose Cassidy: [looks up] If you could put in a good word, Mr. Cassidy, we've had enough rain.
- Benson DuBois: [reading the encyclopedia] Iron, iron, iron ore, Irontown, here it is. Small, mining community founded in 1885, completely destroyed in the flood of 1899, 93 people... died.
- [closes book]
- Benson DuBois: Well, God bless you, Arnold Ziffel, wherever you are.
- Benson DuBois: How's the game going?
- Katherine 'Katie' Olivia Gatling: He's killing me.
- The Grim Reaper: Figuratively speaking, of course.