Benson (TV Series)

Thick as Thieves (1980)

Clyde Kusatsu: Stan

Quotes 

• Stan : I've been robbed 39 times. No problems. But as soon as government people get involved, I've got a major incident. I should've never left the seminary.

• Stan : Don't touch the dial it's

  [WIllard sets off store alarm] 

  Stan : hooked up to the alarm. Now the cops are on the way.

  Kurt : How long?

  Stan : Twenty minutes. The station's next door.

• Benson DuBois : No roast beef. Give me a hot dog. I don't suppose it comes with Grey Poupon mustard?

  Stan : You don't need it. The hot dog's gray.

• Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus : Do you have sandwiches?

  Stan : Do you read? Hot dogs, burgers, chili, pizza, und Stan's health sandwich.

  Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus : What's in the health sandwich?

  Benson DuBois : None of the above.

  Stan : I hate to tell you, lady, but that sandwich isn't fit for human consumption.

  Benson DuBois : Perfect. Give it to her.