- Elvira Best: Laney, how you doin' in there, dear?
- Laney Gibbs: Oh, I'm just a little nervous. So many new things, you know: frilly underwear, fancy dresses and that sweet smellin' stuff you made me use, what do you call that again?
- Elvira Best: Soap.
- Tom Hudson: [holding a bunch of flowers] Oh, eh, these are for you.
- Laney Gibbs: Ooh...
- Tom Hudson: I picked them on the way over.
- Laney Gibbs: You must've been almost here, these are from my garden.
- Tom Hudson: Yeah, I figured: you planted 'em, you like 'em.
- Laney Gibbs: You rascal, you!
- Doc Kullens: I can't do it. I can't look at that little, innocent face, so unspoiled by the evils and corruption of the world and take this money from you. I cheated you. Here's your money.
- Daniel Best: Keep the money, doc. It's yours. It fell out of your pocket when you passed out from the booze.
- Frog Rothchild Jr.: I bet all the money I got in the world: 2 dollars and 67 cent. True love has no bounds.
- Laney Gibbs: True love's gonna have no teeth if he keeps this up!
- Blake Whitman: You sure are really somethin' with them ladies.
- Tom Hudson: Yeah, well, that's why I'm not only the brains of this outfit, I'm also the lips.
- Tom Hudson: A lynch mob will probably get me first. You ever seen a lynch mob?
- Laney Gibbs: Yeah, I remember one here, a wild eyed, crazy mob screamin' for blood at the top of their lungs. It was terrible! I was hoarse for a week.