- Mayor Fletcher: It's come to my attention that the ordinance passed at the last town meeting has been flagrantly ignored. So, from now on there'll be a five dollar fine imposed on anyone caught swimming in the horse trough.
- Frog Rothchild Jr.: [stand up] How much for diving?
- Parker Tillman: Frog, let me break this to you as delicatelly as I can: they don't want you in the horse trough at all. The horses are getting sick.
- Parker Tillman: Oh, all right, I'll be Mr. Nice Guy again, I'll see you at the depot at nine thirty.
- Marshal Sam Best: Thank you.
- Parker Tillman: [begins to walk away, then turns round] Oh, by the way, I may be fifteen, twenty minutes late.
- Parker Tillman: Sam, don't worry about the church, we have time to think of something.
- Laney Gibbs: [Laney enters the saloon] Sam, the railroad inspector just got off the stage.
- Daniel Best: Mr. Tillman, times up...
- Marshal Sam Best: Wait a minute, I don't understand, the, the stage wasn't due here for three days.
- Laney Gibbs: We ran into indians.
- Elvira Best: Oh, no, and they chased you?
- Laney Gibbs: No, they showed us a terrific shortcut.