- Lowell Redlings Farquhar: Well Milburn, how would you like to invest some money?
- Milburn Drysdale: in what?
- Lowell Redlings Farquhar: I have a little property in Las Vegas.
- Milburn Drysdale: You have property in Las Vegas?
- Lowell Redlings Farquhar: Yes, one of the hotels there is holding my suitcase.
- Jethro Bodine: With him bein' Mrs. Drysdale's Pa, if he were to marry Granny, would that make Mrs. Drysdale my Ma?
- Jed Clampett: 'Course not, boy. Strictly speakin', Granny's not your granny, she's Elly's granny. Your Ma, who is my Cousin Pearl is Elly's great aunt on account of her Ma and my Pa was brother and sister and that makes us first cousins. Now I married Granny's daughter, so Pearl by marriage... that is to say, my Pa... well anyway I think yer a grand nephew.
- Jethro Bodine: Thank you. I think you're a swell uncle too.
- Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: Daddy, it's so kind of you to let Milburn's bank handle your transactions.
- Lowell Redlings Farquhar: Well if I'm going to give someone the business, it might as well be Milburn.
- Elly May Clampett: I've got my financing for Las Vegas, a rich widow.
- Jethro Bodine: Really?
- Elly May Clampett: Yeah, we're forming a partnership.
- Jethro Bodine: Ha! Good luck.
- Elly May Clampett: You don't object?
- Jethro Bodine: Why should I? Her money isn't in my bank... is it?
- Elly May Clampett: As a matter of fact it is.
- Jethro Bodine: You don't mean Granny?
- Elly May Clampett: I call her Daisy. She calls me Lowell.
- Jethro Bodine: Why you Beacon Hill bunko artist!
- Elly May Clampett: $50 million and she makes her own soap?
- Milburn Drysdale: They don't spend their money. Have you noticed Elly May?
- Elly May Clampett: Oh yes!
- Milburn Drysdale: Have you noticed how she runs around in those faded old blue jeans?
- Elly May Clampett: Yes! Tight, aren't they?
- Milburn Drysdale: What?
- Elly May Clampett: Tight. As you say, they don't spend their money.
- Daisy Moses: Now you run along and get into some clothes.
- Elly May Clampett: Yes'm Granny. See you later Mr. Farquhar?
- Lowell Redlings Farquhar: Definitely.
- Daisy Moses: Back home in the hills, if a man was to see a girl dressed like that, he'd have to marry her.
- Lowell Redlings Farquhar: That's a fine custom.
- Jed Clampett: Do you get the feelin' that Granny'd like us to make ourselves scarce?
- Jethro Bodine: I don't. She told me to fix this keg.
- [Granny picks up a piece of wood and shakes it at Jethro]
- Jethro Bodine: I'm gettin' a feeling.