Blackadder II (TV Series)
Potato (1986)
Rowan Atkinson: Edmund Blackadder
Photos
Quotes
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Blackadder : I was under the impression that it's common maritime practice for a ship to have a crew?
Captain Rum : Opinion is divided on the subject.
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Queen Elizabeth : [knock at door] Who is it?
Lord Melchett : It is I, your majesty.
Queen Elizabeth : Stop! Close your eyes. Now enter.
[Blackadder and Melchett enter. Melchett has his hand over his eyes]
Queen Elizabeth : [doing a very bad imitation of a sailor] Ahoy there me shivering matey, heave-ho.
[normal voice]
Queen Elizabeth : Right, now open your eyes.
Lord Melchett : [uncovers eyes] Thank you ma'am. And um...
[looks around room]
Queen Elizabeth : [practically squealing with delight] What's the matter Melchie?
Lord Melchett : [very obviously humouring her] Well I beg your pardon your majesty, but I was hoping to greet the gallant young sailor who hallooed me as I came in. Perchance he has hauled anchor and sailed away.
Queen Elizabeth : [mischievously] No. It was me!
Lord Melchett : Majesty! Surely not.
Blackadder : You utter creep.
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Blackadder : By the day after tomorrow, we shall be in Calais! Captain, set sail for France!
Captain Rum : Aye Aye, sir!
[the day after the day after tomorrow]
Blackadder : So you don't know the way to France either?
Captain Rum : No, I must confess that too
[Blackadder nods. Takes in this important information]
Blackadder : Bugger
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Blackadder : It is said, Percy, that the civilized man seeks out good and intelligent company so that by learned discourse he may rise above the savage and closer to God.
Lord Percy : [delighted] Yes, I'd heard that.
Blackadder : Personally, however, I like to start the day with a total dickhead to remind me I'm best.
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Lord Melchett : Ah Blackadder, talking to yourself, I see.
Blackadder : Yes, it's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation.
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[Blackadder shows Baldrick a potato]
Blackadder : I mean, look at this. What is it?
Baldrick : I'm surprised you've forgotten, my lord.
Blackadder : I haven't forgotten; it's a rhetorical question.
Baldrick : No, it's a potato.
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Blackadder : I have better things to do than listen to Sir Rather-A-Wally Raleigh.