- Ben Cartwright: Son, there's one thing a man can't do, and that's to tell a woman who to love and who not to love.
- Eric 'Hoss' Cartwright: Listen Adam, Little Joe had a real good idea. Here's what we're gonna do. He's gonna put on a beard, see. Then we're gonna get in the covered wagon and come out here like we're lookin' for land.
- Joseph 'Little Joe' Cartwright: Yeah, see, then we put him in a real nice bonnet and a print dress.
- Adam Cartwright: Mm-hm. How did I ever get tangled up with you two?