Quotes
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Richie : Er, Mr. Harrison, have you got a sort of white coat or something so that everyone knows that *I'm* the shopkeeper?
Mr. Harrison : Yeah, hang on, I'll get you one. Here you are, and here's one for you, Eddie.
Richie : Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no-no, no. Haven't you got a sort of brown one for him?
Mr. Harrison : No, of course I haven't!
Richie : Or what about a little badge or something that just says "Assistant"?
Mr. Harrison : What are you talking about? Look, I'm in a hurry!
Richie : All right, all right. Well, look Eddie, you'll just have to... put your jacket on back to front or something.
Eddie : Piss off.
Richie : Oh, don't kick up a stink, Eddie, I know what I'm doing. It's nothing personal, it's just that there is a sort of "Upstairs, Downstairs" thing to any shopping experience, which the shopper needs to feel reassured about.
Eddie : [taking his jacket off and puts it on back to front] All right.
Richie : There! Now everybody knows who everybody is.
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Mr. Harrison : Two hundred pound for a coffin. And they set fire to the bastard!
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[Mr. Harrison has asked Richie and Eddie to run his shop for him while he goes to his mother's funeral]
Mr. Harrison : I've got to be in Penge by noon. Come on, I'll show you the ropes.
Richie : Ah, no no, I don't do lifting. You'll have to show Eddie the ropes. Show me the till.
Eddie : No, no, no, no! Show me the drinks cabinet and the sign that says "Closed"!
