Photos
Quotes
-
[Richie has been lying to a barmaid that he has been trying to pull that he is a Falklands war veteran only to discover the man next to him at the bar is one as well]
Mr N. Stiles : You all right mate?
Richard 'Richie' Richard : Ha, ha, oooh yees, yes, yes, hahaha. I always get like this when I meet one of the old compadres. So... shit... great... You were there too, were you?
Mr N. Stiles : Yeah, I was in Two Para.
Richard 'Richie' Richard : What, you went twice?
Mr N. Stiles : What regiment was you in then?
Richard 'Richie' Richard : Well the English one of course! What are you suggesting?
Mr N. Stiles : No, what outfit was you in?
Richard 'Richie' Richard : Well, the green patchy one most of the time. With the twigs and the bit of leaf, you know, camouflage. I mean, ah, some of the chaps had their busbies on but, hur-hur, not many of them came back. No, I just remember looking down my rifle-sights at hordes of screaming Argies, all going "Nein nein, ve surrender Tommy-schweinhund!"
-
Eddie : So, er, what did you do then?
Falklands War Vet : Well, I'd rather not talk about it.
Eddie : Why? Is it embarrassing? Shit your pants, did you? Cry, did you?
Falklands War Vet : Quite the opposite, actually.
Eddie : What, you sucked water in through your eyes?
