Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)
The Dark Age (1997)
Nicholas Brendon: Xander Harris
Photos
Quotes
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Willow Rosenberg : We have to figure out how to kill this thing and we need to do it fast.
Xander Harris : Uh... hot lava.
Willow Rosenberg : That's for a heretic.
Xander Harris : Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh... Ooh-ooh! Bury a potato... No, that's for warts. Who *writes* this stuff?
Cordelia Chase : I've got the solution right here.
[reading]
Cordelia Chase : "To kill a demon... cut off its head."
Xander Harris : Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah. We'll, uh, find Ms. Calendar, then we'll decapitate her. Hey, she'll be the first headless computer teacher in school. You think anybody'll notice?
Cordelia Chase : Do you know what you need, Xander, besides a year's supply of acne cream? A brain.
Xander Harris : That's it! Twelve years of you and I'm snappin'! I don't care if you're a girl or not. I'm throwin' down! Come on!
Cordelia Chase : I've seen you fight. And don't think I can't take you!
Cordelia Chase : Give it your best shot.
Willow Rosenberg : [yelling] *Hey*! We don't have time for this! Our friends are in trouble. Now, we have to put our heads together and-and get them out of it! And if you two aren't with me a hundred and ten percent, then get the hell out of my library!
Cordelia Chase : We're sorry.
Xander Harris : We'll be good.
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Xander Harris : Giles lived for school. He's actually still bitter that there were only twelve grades.
Buffy Summers : He probably sat in math class thinking, "There should be more math. This could be mathier."
Willow Rosenberg : Come on. You don't think he ever got restless as a kid?
Buffy Summers : Are you kidding? His diapers were tweed.
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Xander Harris : Ooh, gang, did you hear that? A bonus day of class, plus Cordelia. Mix in a little rectal surgery and it's my best day ever!
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Buffy Summers : I still don't get what this has to do with Giles.
Willow Rosenberg : I don't know about Giles, but ancient sects used to induce possession for bacchanals and-and orgies.
Xander Harris : Okay. Giles and orgies in the same sentence. I could have lived without that one.
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Jenny Calendar : Alright, guys, the first thing we're gonna do is... Buffy?
Xander Harris : Huh? Did I fall asleep already?
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Xander Harris : Yep. Yep, I knew this would happen. Nobody can be wound as straight and narrow as Giles without a dark side erupting. My Uncle Rory was the stodgiest taxidermist you've ever met, by day. By night, it was booze, whores and fur flyin'. Were there whores?
Buffy Summers : He was alone.
Xander Harris : Give it time.
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Rupert Giles : Is everyone alright?
Cordelia Chase : Super. I kicked a guy.
Jenny Calendar : We're okay.
Xander Harris : Dead guy here interrupted our tutorial.
[to dead guy]
Xander Harris : Been meaning to thank you for that.
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Buffy Summers : Xander, how do you feel about digging through some of Giles' personal files and seeing what you can find?
Xander Harris : I feel pretty good about it. Does that make me a sociopath?