Jack Albertson: Ed Brown

Quotes 

• Ed Brown : The only plant that could survive in this neighborhood is a marijuana plant.

  Chico Rodriguez : Oh, There you go getting nasty again. I got news for you. Your people are bigger potheads than mine.

  Ed Brown : Is that so? Why do they call it Acapulco Gold, not Philadelphia Gold?

• Chico Rodriguez : What line of business are you in?

  Della Rogers : Catering.

  Ed Brown : Catering? Catering? Well, I'll thank you to keep your girls out of my garage.

  Della Rogers : That's not the kind of catering I do. I deliver by truck.

  Ed Brown : I don't care if you deliver by limousine. I don't want your kind around here.

• Ed Brown : What do you think you're doing this hour of the morning?

  Salvador : I'm digging a hole.

  Ed Brown : Digging a hole? In my alley? What for?

  Salvador : Because there's no hole here now.

• Ed Brown : That's enough! That does it! You tried to turn my Margaret into a Democrat! You tried to turn my garage into a supermarket! But you're not gonna turn my God into a woman! Get out of my office!

  [Points his left arm to the left] 

  Della Rogers : This is my office! You get out!

  [Points her right arm to the right] 

• Ed Brown : [Speaking of how the taste of Della's donuts brings back memories]  Yeah, This really brings back memories. Oh, I can see it all now. Steaming kitchen, hot pot of boiling oil.

  Della Rogers : Peanut oil?

  Ed Brown : Yeah, Peanut oil.

  Della Rogers : That's my secret recipe.

  Ed Brown : Where'd you get it?

  Della Rogers : From a lady my Mama used to work for when I was about twelve.

  Ed Brown : Twelve?

  Della Rogers : Don't try to figure out how long ago that was, now.

• Ed Brown : [Talking loudly to Chico and pointing at Della]  This woman is an agitator!

  Della Rogers : [Yelling at Ed]  America was built by agitators!

  Ed Brown : Communist!

  Della Rogers : Fascist!

  Ed Brown : Bolshevik!

  Della Rogers : Idiot!

  Ed Brown : Get out of my garage!

• Ed Brown : Ah, At least I know where I stand in this neighborhood. I know who my enemies are. And at my age it's too late to move to another neighborhood and make new enemies.

  Chico Rodriguez : How about staying in the old neighborhood and making just one friend?

• Louie Wilson : [Speaking to Ed about Della]  Did you know that she is known as Joan of Dark?

  Chico Rodriguez : Didn't they burn the first one at the stake?

  Ed Brown : Anybody got a match?

• Chico Rodriguez : Hey Ed, Do you trust me?

  Ed Brown : You're the only person in the world that I trust, now that Eisenhower is gone.

• Della Rogers : [Talking about her memories of Ed's wife]  I even remember the first time I took her to an NAACP Meeting.

  Ed Brown : NAACP? But Margaret wasn't Colored!

  Della Rogers : Oh, Yes, She was. Her color just happened to be White.

• Ed Brown : All these years I thought Margaret and I had no secrets from one another. Now I find out that she had this thing for Adlai Stevenson.

  Chico Rodriguez : Only once. In a voting booth. You've gotta forgive her.

  Ed Brown : You're right. Well, Ike won, anyhow. So, Margaret, I forgive you.

  [Ed looks upward] 

  Chico Rodriguez : I meant Della.

• Della Rogers : [Delivery driver radios in to Della]  Excuse me. That's one of my trucks.

  Ed Brown : One?

  Della Rogers : I have a fleet.

  Ed Brown : A whole fleet?

  Della Rogers : Two.

• Chico Rodriguez : Ms. Rogers, Can I introduce Louie Wilson, Your local Sanitary Engineer?

  Ed Brown : Oh, Come on. He's a garbage collector. Why can't you call a spade a spade?

  Chico Rodriguez : An unfortunate choice of words, Ms. Wilson.

  Della Rogers : I'll accept that explanation. And I'm pleased to meet you, Mr. Wilson.

  Louie Wilson : The pleasure's mine, Ms. Rogers. And I might say that the quality of garbage in this neighborhood will rise one thousand percent. And it will really be an honor for me to service your can.

  [Removes his cap and bows at the waist] 

• Ed Brown : [Ed realizes that Della was a little girl from his past]  Twinkletop!

  Della Rogers : [Curtseying and Smiling]  Dat's wight, Missa Bwown.

  Ed Brown : You're that little Colored girl.

  Della Rogers : I was that little Colored girl. I'm now, a Black woman.