The Critic (TV Series)
Siskel & Ebert & Jay & Alice (1995)
Jon Lovitz: Jay Sherman
Quotes
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[Jay is trying out to be Siskel's new partner]
Gene Siskel : Ok, let's try a take. Wait, something's wrong. You don't look right. Try on this wig.
[Puts a gray wig on Jay]
Jay Sherman : What?
Gene Siskel : Now, the glasses.
[Puts a pair of glasses on Jay]
Jay Sherman : You're making me look like Roger.
Gene Siskel : Just do what I say!
Jay Sherman : Dammit, Gene! I'm not Roger! I'm never gonna be Roger! I wish I were!
[Runs off sobbing]
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Roger Ebert : [Showing Jay a photo album] Here's Gene and me on Splash Mountain. Here we are winning the three-legged-race. And here's the Halloween we went as Ernie and Bert.
Jay Sherman : Shouldn't we get to work?
Roger Ebert : Sure, Gene. Anything you say.
Jay Sherman : You called me Gene.
Roger Ebert : I'm sorry, Gene. I'll never do it again... Gene.
Jay Sherman : My name is Jay, and I need some air!
[Runs off sobbing]
Jay Sherman : I'm not Gene!
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Jay Sherman : [Rips the foil of an Oscar, revealing chocolate] Now I want one more than ever!