The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)
A Nice, Friendly Game of Cards (1964)
Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie
Photos
Quotes
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Look, Ritchie, when you cheat to win, that's naughty, but when you cheat to lose... it's ridiculous.
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Why would I use marked cards to win ten dollars?
Buddy Sorrell : Well, it's easier than sticking up a live chicken market.
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : I'm gonna go put on my lucky slippers.
Buddy Sorrell : What're gonna do, shuffle the cards with your toes?
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[Rob's been on a two-hour winning streak]
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : [while rapping against the table] Gimme those deuces, and gimme those treys. Gimme those aces - that's the way I plays. Just put your money right in the pot. I'll take it home, and thanks a lot.
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Ritchie Petrie : Bad luck, Daddy.
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : [laughs nervously] Thanks. I mean, go to bed.
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : This is my magic deck.
Buddy Sorrell : Yeah, magic is right. You just made your friends disappear.
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Sally Rogers : Hey, uh, what was going on? Who was that?
Laura Petrie : Oh, his name is Lou Gregory and he's a very ungracious man. Hi, Sally.
Sally Rogers : Oh.
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : A little suspicious, too. Hi Sal.
Sally Rogers : Oh.
Jerry Helper : Well, you can't blame him. He used to be an assistant district attorney. Hi, Sal.
Sally Rogers : Hi, Jer. Well, what was he doing here?
Millie Helper : He's a patient of Jerry's and we invited him over for a nice, frienly evening. Hi, Sal.
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Lou Gregory : [angry that he lost a good hand to Rob] Why, that's pure luck!
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : [gloating in a southern accent] Why, sir, down in ole Mississippi we call that "know-how."
Laura Petrie : Will you stop gloating?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : [still in his accent] All I said was "know-how." You know what means, don't cha? That means that you folks ain't got no chance... no how.