- Rob Petrie: You're really nuts about me, aren't ya?
- Laura Petrie: Not really, but Richie likes you and I hate to waste food.
- Sally Rogers: Just gimme two seconds to make myself gorgeous.
- [knock at the door]
- Rob Petrie: Your time's up.
- Sally Rogers: I'm gorgeous.
- Evelyn Harding: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
- Ritchie Petrie: Not yet but someday I will. Daddy promised.
- Rob Petrie: [to Laura] I've been meaning to talk to you about that.
- Rob Petrie: [on the phone] Hello, Police Headquarter? Can you tell me where your prowl cars are? No, I mean do you have any up on the north end? Why? Well, I'd-I'd like to report a possible robbery. Maybe later this evening. No, it is not definite. No, sir, this is not a gag.
- Laura Petrie: Rob, you're being ridiculous.
- Rob Petrie: Captain, I can't talk now, my wife's bothering me.
- Rob Petrie: By gosh, you know something?
- Harrison B. Harding: What?
- Rob Petrie: I even know the nickname the guys gave you!
- Harrison B. Harding: I'll bet you don't!
- Rob Petrie: Harry the Horse!
- Harrison B. Harding: Ho-ho, you dog! Harry the Horse!
- Ritchie Petrie: Why did they call you that?
- Rob Petrie: Because he had a face...
- Evelyn Harding: ...as big as a horse.
- Harrison B. Harding: I lost 57 pounds since then.
- Evelyn Harding: All from his face.
- Harrison B. Harding: Don't tease me, Evelyn.
- Sally Rogers: Hey maybe it's for me. Is it a man?
- Rob Petrie: Yeah, Harrison B. Harding. You know him?
- Sally Rogers: No, but if he's single, I'll marry him.