The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

My Husband Is the Best One (1964)

Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Laura Petrie : Behind every great man...

  Rob Petrie : ...is a woman with a big mouth.

• Rob Petrie : [explaining why he didn't try harder to keep Laura quiet]  Because even though I was embarrassed by everything you said, I sat there and I enjoyed every minute of it! I guess, deep down in my subconscious, I was in complete agreement with you, that's why!

  Laura Petrie : Then why are you shouting at me?

  Rob Petrie : I'm shouting at ME. You're just in the way.

• Rob Petrie : Look, you guys, I'd like to explain about that article.

  Sally Rogers : Oh, what's to explain? It's all down here in black and blue.

• Rob Petrie : That's a wonderful joke, Buddy.

  Buddy Sorrell : Oh? Well, would you mind signing this?

  Rob Petrie : What for?

  Buddy Sorrell : It's a receipt for the joke in case anybody asks me what I do around here.

  Sally Rogers : Oh, Buddy! Making him sign a receipt. I think that's terrible.

  Rob Petrie : Thanks, Sal.

  Sally Rogers : Anything we write, we'll just type our initials to it.

• [Newstime Magazine mentions Rob's name eleven times but Alan Brady's only seven] 

  Laura Petrie : Do you mean to tell me that he is so small and petty that he counted how many times his name was mentioned?

  Rob Petrie : The bigger they are, the harder they count.

• Diane Moseby : Oh, but does Alan Brady contribute anything to the script?

  Rob Petrie : Oh, my, yes. He's VERY creative. One of the biggest contributors.

  Laura Petrie : Yeah, he signs Rob's checks every week.

• Alan Brady : [having chewed out Rob in a rage]  Now GET OUT OF HERE!

  Rob Petrie : [submissively]  How far out? Just...

  Alan Brady : Well, from now, I'd go into your office until I tell you w-whether my "satirical sword" needs any sharpening! And next time you talk to a reporter, will you try to work my name in, even if you have to force it into the conversation! And tell your wife to eat at home next time, will ya?

• Waiter : May I take your order, sir?

  Rob Petrie : Yes, waiter: would you get this lady a separate table?

• Alan Brady : You know how many times your name was mentioned in MY article?

  Rob Petrie : Ub... Ub...

  Alan Brady : Eleven! You know how many times My name was mentioned in my article?

  Rob Petrie : Ub...

  [Alan holds up seven fingers] 

  Rob Petrie : Seven...

  Alan Brady : Seven!

  Rob Petrie : Heh heh, 7 - 11, that's lucky...

  Alan Brady : Not for you!