The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

Oh How We Met the Night That We Danced (1961)

Marty Ingels: Sol Pomeroy

Quotes 

• Rob Petrie : [seeing Laura for the first time]  Sol, who is that girl?

  Sol Pomeroy : Sarge, no, no, not that girl. Not that girl, Sarge. You're gonna waste your time with that girl, Sarge. She's as stuck up as they come, that girl.

  Rob Petrie : What makes you think she's so stuck up?

  Sol Pomeroy : Well, 'cause I know her. I know that girl. I talked to her. I went up to her, polite-like, nice, and I said to her, "Uh, how do you do, sweetie? How 'bout you and I takin' a hop down to the PX and I'll spring for a couple o' beers, and then, uh, if I'm not too drunk, then, uh, I'll, uh, I'll heist a weapons carrier and we'll take a spin around the obstacle course." You know, nice! Well, Sarge, that girl, stuck up, comes back with an answer that you'd never believe.

  Rob Petrie : Well, what did she say?

  Sol Pomeroy : She said, "No, thank you."

• Sol Pomeroy : [to Rob about Laurie]  Sarge, I don't know what you're knocking yourself out for. Can't you see she's a cold potato?

  Rob Petrie : Sol, my boy, you add a little mayonnaise, some spices, some celery and egg, and a cold potato becomes a delicious potato salad.

  Sol Pomeroy : Yeah, yeah. I could sure go for a hot pastrami sandwich right now.