- Juror: We'll make a deal with you: vote guilty and we'll ask the judge to put her into your custody.
- Marla Hendrix: Gee, I feel real nervous, Mr. Berger. Are ya sure everything's gonna be all right?
- Mr. Berger: Well, my dear, they couldn't possibly find you guilty. There're too many men on the jury.
- Rob Petrie: Oh! We're not supposed to be doin' this.
- Marla Hendrix: Doing what?
- Rob Petrie: Talkin' and picking up each other's lipstick.
- [Laura and Sally attend the trial, feeling it's very much like a TV show]
- Laura Petrie: [watching an attractive woman enter with her lawyer] Who's that?
- Sally Rogers: I don't know. I didn't get a program.
- Marla Hendrix: I used to be in an act called The Harem Girls & Buster. Buster kept promising me a specialty but he never gave it to me.
- Mr. Mason: I object.
- Marla Hendrix: So did I.
- Laura Petrie: Rob, why did you ogle her that way?
- Rob Petrie: Now, honey, what was the matter with the way I ogled her?
- Third Juror: Are you a mother?
- Rob Petrie: No.
- Third Juror: Ah-HA! Well, I AM a mother, and, believe me, a mother's intuition is better than a tall, skinny comedy writer.
- Rob Petrie: We, uh, we missed the evening newscast.
- Sally Rogers: How 'bout that. I wondered why the evening seemed so empty.
- Laura Petrie: Did you hurt yourself?
- Rob Petrie: When?
- Laura Petrie: When you fell out of the jury box because you were gawking at Marla Hendrix
- Rob Petrie: First of all, there were 11 other jurors in that box.
- Laura Petrie: And none of them fell out.
- Laura Petrie: You're not capable of judging this case fairly. You're prejudiced. You're being blinded by statistics.
- Rob Petrie: Statistics?
- Laura Petrie: 36-24-36.
- Buddy Sorrell: [devilishly suggesting there're amorous feelings between Rob and Marla Hendrix] Do-d'doodily-do-do-do.