The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)
Punch Thy Neighbor (1962)
Mary Tyler Moore: Laura Petrie
Quotes
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Laura Petrie : Well, what happened?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Well, this waitress that I know there came over to the table and said she saw the show last night and she thought it was excellent. And that's when ol' Jer went to work.
Laura Petrie : What did he do?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : He started playing district attorney. He took the plates out of her hands, put 'em on the table, sat her down and cross-examined her. He said, "Well, young lady, tell me. You say you thought The Alan Brady Show last night was magnificent. I see. Now, tell me, did you see Ben Hur? Uh-huh. You did. What did you think of Ben Hur? Oh, magnificent you say? Would you say that The Alan Brady Show is as GOOD as Ben Hur? Oh, no? Well, would you say that... that The Alan Brady Show was HALF as good as Ben Hur? Oh, no? Ah, one quarter as good? No. One eighth as good? Ah-ha! One eighth, you say. Then I contend that one eighth of magnificent is rotten!"
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Laura Petrie : Rob, are you all right?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : [pinned to the floor by Jerry] Oh! There's a... a pressing pain on my chest.
Jerry Helper : What's the pain feel like, boy?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Feels like a hundred eighty pound dentist sittin' on it.
