The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)
Punch Thy Neighbor (1962)
Jerry Paris: Jerry Helper
Quotes
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Alan Brady : [on TV] "The Alan Brady Show" is a Jeff Greg Barb Lou Ben Ray Polly production.
Millie Helper : Where did they get that name, Jeff-Greg-Barb-Lou-Ben-Ray-Polly?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Well, Jeff and Greg are the kids, Barb is his wife, Ben is his lawyer, Ray is his brother, and Lou is his manager.
Jerry Helper : Who's Polly?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Oh, that's his bird.
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Jerry Helper : Well, one closing clinker can make a whole show clank.
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Millie Helper : When are you gonna learn that kidding and teasing aren't fun?
Jerry Helper : Well, it IS fun. I LIKE it.
Millie Helper : Well, you're the only one.
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Jerry Helper : What are you doing with those scissors?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : What am I doing with those scissors? I was planning on cuttin' my throat with them, that's what!
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Laura Petrie : Rob, are you all right?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : [pinned to the floor by Jerry] Oh! There's a... a pressing pain on my chest.
Jerry Helper : What's the pain feel like, boy?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Feels like a hundred eighty pound dentist sittin' on it.
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : How would you like it if I went around saying, uh, "Jerry Helper's gold fillings turn green in my mouth! He's a rotten dentist!"
Jerry Helper : Hey, be quiet, will ya? The door's open; I got three patients in this block!
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : I'm sorry.
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : [goes to the open door and shouts] Hey, everybody! Jerry Helper is a rotten dentist!
Jerry Helper : [rushing to close the door] HEY, CUT IT OUT!
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Millie Helper : Tell him what you really thought of last night's show.
Jerry Helper : Well...
Millie Helper : Go on.
Jerry Helper : Excellent.
Millie Helper : Now, that didn't hurt, did it?
Jerry Helper : A little bit.
