- Rob Petrie: [seeing Laura peeking out from behind the newly-inflated raft] Honey, did a package come for me?
- [Buddy and Sally try to think a philosophical statement for Alan Brady to say at the end of the upcoming show]
- Sally Rogers: Hey! I got an idea for a line. My Aunt Agnes used to have a saying that went, uh, "If your heart is where the sky is bluest, then the sound of winter's twilight will be your friend."
- Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell: Your aunt said that?
- Sally Rogers: Yeah... and every time I think of it, I want to cry.
- Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell: Why?
- Sally Rogers: Because I think my Aunt Agnes is a nut.
- Laura Petrie: Rob, if I thought that you sent this boat here to trap me...
- Rob Petrie: Oh, honey, I ordered this long before we did the sketch. This is what gave me the idea. Honest.
- Laura Petrie: Rob, I tried not to open it, I really did, but I - I guess I'm just a pathological snoopy-nose!
- Rob Petrie: Oh, honey, everybody's a snoopy-nose. We all like to know what's inside things.
- Laura Petrie: I guess so.
- Rob Petrie: Why, I know so. You know something? I'm very, very curious about something right now.
- Laura Petrie: What?
- Rob Petrie: Well, I'm wondering how long we're going to keep on with this polite talking before we get down to serious kissing!
- Laura Petrie: [smiles] About three seconds.
- Rob Petrie: Three?
- [looks at his watch]
- Rob Petrie: One, two...
- Laura Petrie: I forgive you!
- [they kiss deeply]
- Rob Petrie: I don't like condensed mail for breakfast. You left all the flavor out of it.
- Laura Petrie: "All the flavor..." Rob, it was a letter, not a stew.
- Sally Rogers: Hey, I got it! Don't anybody move!
- Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell: What, what?
- Sally Rogers: Ah, ya moved! I forgot it!
- Rob Petrie: All right, you dirty little rat, where'd you put it?
- Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell: But Mommy, Mommy, you told me not to tell ya.
- Rob Petrie: Don't do what I told you. Do what I tell ya!
- Sally Rogers: What's a matter with fifteen?
- Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell: Thirty-two's a funnier number.
- Sally Rogers: Since when?
- Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell: Thirty-two has ALWAYS been a funnier number! I hear thirty-two, I get hysterical! Watch.
- [turns to Rob]
- Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell: Try me.
- Rob Petrie: Thirty-two.
- Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoooo!
- Sally Rogers: Well, I gotta admit he's right.
- Rob Petrie: Hey, I got it!
- Sally Rogers: What? What?
- Rob Petrie: Cut the hair.
- Sally Rogers, Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell: [together] Cut the hair!
- Rob Petrie: It's a boat!
- Sally Rogers: A boat with hair?
- Laura Petrie: I open a couple of your letters and you advertise it to twenty million people.
- Rob Petrie: Forty million.
- Laura Petrie: FORTY million people, that I'm a pathological snoopy-nose.
- Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell: That's the trouble with real life, no punch lines. Hey, why don't you go home and have another fight with Laura and Sally go along and write the whole thing down in shorthand.
- Rob Petrie: Let's put it on paper.
- Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell: No no, we'll put it on paper. You go home and have another fight with Laura. We might need a sketch for next week.
- Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell: What's the matter with him?
- Sally Rogers: Oh, Laura's been getting needled about being the wife in the sketch last night and she's giving Rob a bad time.
- Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell: Oh... Hey, that's it!
- Sally Rogers: That's what?
- Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell: That's the sketch for next week!