The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

The Return of Happy Spangler (1962)

Richard Deacon: Mel Cooley

Quotes 

• Mel Cooley : Oh, Buddy'll never be a has-been. He'll always be a never-was.

  Buddy Sorrell : Look who's talkin'. Been in the business twenty years, he's still a what-is-it.

• Mel Cooley : I've always felt we were understaffed. Rob, I don't see how you've done as well as you have with just you, Sally and a trained ape.

  Buddy Sorrell : I didn't know you were trained.

• Mel Cooley : If you'll excuse me, Mr. Spangler, I have work to do.

  Buddy Sorrell : Good luck emptying the ashtrays, skinhead.