- Mel Cooley: [having seen Joanie kissing Rob] I'd hate to see it start, Rob.
- Rob Petrie: You hate to see WHAT start?
- Mel Cooley: So many couples we've known, it's hard to get up a bridge game.
- Rob Petrie: [angrily on the phone] Laura, will you call Joanie's mother and tell her to make Joanie leave me alone?
- Rob Petrie: Well, there's nothing more for us to do around here. I guess we may go home to our loved ones.
- Buddy Sorrell: Not me. I'm goin' home to my wife.
- Laura Petrie: Hi, Darling. How'd it go today?
- Rob Petrie: Congratulate me - I'm engaged.
- Laura Petrie: You're WHAT?
- Rob Petrie: I wanted you to be the very first to know.
- Laura Petrie: Oh, Rob!
- Sally Rogers: Oh, hi, Rob. Your name just came up.
- Buddy Sorrell: Yeah, I think your number's up, too. Mrs. Petrie Jr. was just in here looking for ya.
- Rob Petrie: You're gettin' pretty sophisticated, by the way. I call you on the phone and tell you a girl kissed me; you don't even get jealous!
- Laura Petrie: Well, I figured your call was for help, not to boast.
- Laura Petrie: Chase her. If you chase her, she'll run.
- Rob Petrie: Oh yeah. Alright, I'll chase her.
- Laura Petrie: But Rob, just one thing. Don't, under any circumstances, catch her.
- Mel Cooley: One of my duties on this show is the sifting of talent.
- Buddy Sorrell: Yeah, well, don't forget your pail and shovel.
- Rob Petrie: I don't... What am I gonna DO with her. She's NUTS about me.
- Laura Petrie: Aw, she'll get over it. I did.
- Rob Petrie: Well, I wanna tell her that if I run away with her, you'll kill yourself.
- Laura Petrie: No, tell her that if you run away with her, I'll kill you both. No, no, that's no good. Then no one will have any fun.
- Rob Petrie: Buddy will. He's got dibs on you.
- Rob Petrie: YOU'RE the one who said, "Chase, and she'll run."
- Laura Petrie: And she didn't run?
- Rob Petrie: She ran alright - she ran amok!
- Rob Petrie: You know what Laura said to me last night?
- Buddy Sorrell: Get out of the house.
- Sally Rogers: She said Joanie is in love with you.
- Rob Petrie: Hehe-heh, she said Joanie is in love... How did YOU know?
- Sally Rogers: Figures. The kid's eighteen, you're an older man, you showed an interest in her...
- Rob Petrie: I did not. I just suggested her for a part.
- Sally Rogers: Rob, to a moony teenager, that's like a proposal of marriage.